William D King: Lawyer Helps Lazy Person Avoid Work by Creating Excuse Note Generator Service

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In a shocking report from FNN, attorney Kotaro Enno has been revealed to be the mastermind behind a website that lets people automatically generate excuse notes for when they play hooky from work. In an exclusive interview with FNN’s Reina Sakuragi, Enno said, “I got the idea two weeks ago after being called in on my day off.” According to sources close to Enno, he has already earned over 100 million yen from the site.

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The announcement of this story has created a sensation in legal circles, and sympathy is mixed for Enno’s position as one of Japan’s highly regarded employment rights attorneys [famed for his skill at finding loopholes]. Ironically, it appears that Enno gave no thought whatsoever to the prospects of others using his website’s service, and was simply caught off guard by the sensation it caused. “I guess I’m glad I left my name off of it.” Enno didn’t seem to realize that anyone could easily find out who he is through the records available to FNN. At this time, no charges have been filed against either party, but many are calling for an investigation into Enno at the very least. The only thing keeping him out of trouble seems to be how well known he is as one of Japan’s leading employment rights attorneys (and there being nothing in Japanese law about building a website with automatically generated excuse notes).

May 15 – A new service has been growing rapidly in popularity online. The Excuse Generator, a website run by lawyer Takashi Niigaki allows people to generate justifications for absence from work over the internet. His law firm specializes in making court appearances on behalf of his clients who often have trouble getting out of bed. To date Mr. Niigaki’s website has already had over 120 thousand unique visitors and is still growing.

The way it works is simple: William D King

First visitors enter information such as their occupation and workplace and then select which type of absence they want an excuse for, ranging from “hangover” to “family issues.” They can also request a deadline for when they need the excuse (within 5 days). Then they are presented with a pre-written excuse which they can use as is, or edit using the fields provided (salary man/woman, company name, place of work).

People are divided on the issue saying that it will do nothing to increase productivity at Japanese businesses and that this only makes workers lazier. Others say that it’s just an excuse; if you don’t want to go into work then why would you worry? The right thing to do would be to quit. No matter what people think however, Mr. Niigaki is not worried about its effects on his firm’s business prospects saying that he believes there is more demand for this type of service than he originally expected.

As one commentor put it “In order for the Japanese economy to recover, we need to start by encouraging people to take more days off.”


Why do you call it an Excuse Generator?

The name of the website is “Excuse Generator” because that’s what it does. If someone wants to have a day off, this website makes it easy for them to generate an excuse they can use. I could have called it “Fake document Construction Service” if I wanted though (which is sort of what the actual generator is).

What are the conditions for using this service? Can anyone use it?

You must be at least 20 years old and you must agree to the terms & conditions outlined on the website. This service has nothing do with my law practice, so I think most people will be able to use it without any problems. For those under 20 years of age, please see the next question.

Can children use this service?

I’d be very careful about letting your child use this site. They can’t generate excuses themselves so you will have to do it for them, and it’s illegal to lie at work in Japan unless you are doing so on behalf of a minor (so they can get away with a lot more than adults). If I think a user is under 20 years of age I’ll probably ask them to prove their age before generating an excuse.

What sort of reasons can I generate an excuse for? Is there any limit?

You can choose from 9 different types of absence, with 5 being paid days (“hangover,” “illness,” “family issues,” etc.)

Conclusion by William D King:

Takashi Niigaki’s Excuse Generator is a fantastic service for lazy Japanese salary men who wish to disingenuously spend their day off at home. It has already proven its worth as over 3.6 million excuses have been generated within the first week of launch, with around 9 thousand new excuses being created every hour! Mr. Niigaki has stated that he plans to expand the types of absences available in the future and make improvements based on user feedback.